Tips for handling your teen’s exam stress

Mental HealthAdolescenceExam StressTips for parents

23 Oct

It is now THE SEASON for stress amongst upper high school students in Australia. Exam stress, assignment deadlines, getting the perfect ATAR, while balancing personal commitments and fun, is looming over many teens and their parents. We get it. Are you a parent who is currently feeling overwhelmed from your teen’s constant stress or worry regarding exams?

If so, you are in the right place.

Writing this is Shen, a newly employed Psychologist at Ashcliffe Psychology who graduated Year 12 herself just under 10 years ago. Shen vividly remembers the stressors of herself and her peers as they were preparing for mock and WACE exams, picking university courses, and trying to balance sporting and social commitments amongst exam study. She acknowledges that while it’s not an easy period to get through, there are certain things that parents can do that can immensely help their teen prepare effectively for exams and alleviate the stress coming from this stressful period.

Firstly, it can be helpful to explain to your teen that stress is a normal part of life. In fact, there are 2 different types of stressors:

Eustress: the positive stress that motivates and focuses energy (feels challenging but rewarding).

Distress: the negative stress that involves negative feelings and drains coping capacity (feels overwhelming and difficult).

Distress is not always negative; it can be beneficial in the short term.

It can be helpful for you (as the parent) to pick up and identify signs of DISTRESS in your teen, particularly around exam time, such as:

Headaches
Teeth grinding
Sweaty palms
Lack of sleep
Low energy
Irritability
Trouble concentrating
Losing interest in previously enjoyed activities

You can also ask your teen whether their stress feels unmanageable and overwhelming, and which emotions they are feeling. They are more likely to feel anxiety, panic or hopelessness if they are experiencing DISTRESS. This can have an impact on their physical wellbeing, especially if the distress is chronic.

Why do teens experience distress?

Lack of preparation for exams/assignments
Fear of failure
Desire for high marks
Not enough study time
Difficult subject content
Family pressure to succeed
Competing commitments

… and the list goes on.

Despite whether your teen is experiencing distress or eustress, we are here to help. Here are 5 tips that parents can consider during their teens’ exam period:

1. Support, don’t pressure

The first tip is to support, rather than pressure, your teen.

This can involve practical things, such as going a little easier on household chores and responsibilities during particularly busy periods, giving them a lift to an exam or to study with friends if they need it, and simply being available to chat and provide reassurance.

Other helpful things include co-regulation and positive reassurance — for example, giving your teen a daily hug, or saying something before an exam like, “You've worked really hard. Whatever happens tomorrow, we're proud of you.”

If your teen is particularly stressed, try validating their feelings rather than immediately trying to fix the problem. You could say, “I can see you're really nervous, and that's understandable.”

Gentle encouragement and reassurance can help your teen feel supported and may help them approach their exams with greater confidence.

2. Take care of the basics

The second tip is to take care of the basics. When your teen's mental bandwidth is being consumed by exams, you can help by taking some of the everyday load off them.

For example, make sure they are getting regular, nutritious meals, have what they need for school, are getting enough sleep, and feel comfortable and supported at home.

If you're a busy or full-time working parent, you don't have to do everything for your teen. Instead, think about what practical things you can do together to make this period a little easier for them. The easiest thing is to ask them and have a conversation on how you can support them.

Sometimes, taking care of the basics can make a big difference to how well a teenager is able to cope with stress.

3. Create a study environment that works for your teen

The third tip is to help your teen create a study environment that works for them.

There can be a lot of distractions at home — siblings, pets, television or general household noise — so it can be helpful to work together with your teen to create an environment where they can concentrate.

However, remember that there isn't one perfect study environment for everyone. Some teenagers prefer complete silence, while others might concentrate better with gentle background noise or music.

So, rather than assuming what your teen needs, ask them. You could say, “Is there anything we could change at home that would make studying easier for you?”

It can also be helpful to ensure that they have a comfortable and practical space to study, including a suitable chair, desk and good lighting.

4. Help without taking over

The fourth tip is to help your teen study — without taking over.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to help. You could quiz them on their subject material, ask about what they're studying, show a genuine interest in their subjects, help them develop a study plan, or organise extra resources or tutoring if they need it.

The important thing is to ask what kind of support they actually want, rather than sitting over them and constantly checking whether they're studying.

This helps preserve their sense of autonomy, which is particularly important during adolescence.

You could simply ask, “Would you like me to quiz you, help you make a study plan, or would you rather I leave you to it?”

5. Protect their wellbeing

The fifth and final tip is to protect your teen's wellbeing during exam periods.

When exams are approaching, teenagers can sometimes feel like they need to spend every waking hour studying. However, sleep, exercise, social connection and regular breaks are all important for managing stress and maintaining wellbeing.

Encourage your teen to maintain a regular sleep routine, get some physical activity, spend time with family, friends or pets, and take regular breaks from studying.

It can also be helpful to establish reasonable boundaries around social media and phone use — while making sure you're modelling healthy phone habits yourself.

Finally, encourage your teen to create a realistic study schedule that includes regular breaks and time to do things they enjoy.

Remember, the goal isn't to completely eliminate your teen's exam stress. It's to help them develop healthy ways of managing it while knowing that you're there to support them.

If you are interested in booking in a time to speak with Shen, please use the booking link below:

https://www.halaxy.com/profile/shenhav-nave/psychologist/1805967?clinic=1358295

Please remember: Don’t stress, do your best, and forget the rest! :)